narcissistic supply

"Once the Source of Supply is captured, preyed upon and depleted, the reverse process (of devaluation) sets in. The narcissist instantaneously (and startlingly abruptly) loses ALL interest in his former source of Narcissistic Supply.

                                    

"Narcissistic psychopaths have no friends or lovers or
spouses or children, or family - they have only objects to
be manipulated"

Sam Vaknin

Don't Worry

Don't worry; he didn't pick you because you are weak or an easy target. He picked you because you have all the qualities he wants and can never have.

Bizarre Behavior

He will ALWAYS have someone else lined up before he bails out or you are ready to kick him out.

He shows no remorse for his cruelty and will blame you for everything. He has no capacity for introspection and no desire for finding a way to work things out.

When things are not going HIS way, he secretly finds another woman and once he is sure that he has them in his hooked claws, you become WORTHLESS, however long you have been together and whatever love, support and loyalty you have shown him, counts for nothing.

You usually have no warning - he can seem affectionate and doting right up until he rips your life apart.

His bizarre behaviour spins your reality so much, you end up baffled and confused and start to question your own sanity.

If you try to analyse the situation, he will try everything possible to convince you, and his new lovesick supply source (and her family and friends) that you are the crazy one.

(Sandra Betts)

Hypocrite

There are three signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks he tells lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays his trust.

-Muhammad

Narcissism

 

Wednesday
Sep082010

Sociopaths

Sociopaths are individuals that lack a sense of responsibility and morality. They may be manipulative and are always consistent liars. Lying is second nature to sociopaths, they lie just for the fun of it.  In 'Without Conscience' Dr. Hare says that "lying, deceiving and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths. When caught in a lie or challenged by the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed - they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie. The results are a series of contradictory statements and a thoroughly confused listener."

Sociopaths will lie and cheat to deceive for money, power, control and sex. They seldom stick around to have their lies exposed; instead, they move on to a new neighborhood or city. The lying and deception, the manipulation and conning are pervasive.

Sociopaths are impulsive and don't spend much time considering the consequences of their actions. According to Dr. Hare "the psychopath carries out his evaluation of a situation - what he will get out of it and at what costs - without the usual anxieties, doubts and concerns about being humiliated, causing pain, sabotaging future plans..." These are the things that people of conscience struggle with when considering possible actions. Sociopaths know the rules but choose which ones to follow. "They have little resistance to temptation and their transgressions elicit no guilt." Often times, sociopaths are protected from the consequences of their behaviour by family members, friends and colleagues. 

Sociopaths are often glib when questioned about their behaviour. They are famous for not answering the question asked them or they answer in a way to confuse the questioner. Their answers can often seem unresponsive to the question (Hare p139)

Those without conscience engage in certain techniques to 'keep us in line'. The techniques that Dr Stout talks about in her book, ‘The Sociopath Next Door', are charm, risk-taking, gas lighting and seduction. Sociopaths can instantly recognize someone who is trusting and have the uncanny ability to determine a person's weak spots very quickly. Those weak spots will be exploited over and over again. Susan Forward, PhD. has an entire chapter of her book, 'When Your Lover Is a Liar', dedicated to describing sociopaths. In the book, she states 'don't forget for a moment that all sociopaths have one vital thing in common: an extraordinary ability to win the loyalty and devotion of the woman they exploit.' 

Dr. Forward goes on to say in her book "he speaks words of love that sound fabulous, and he seems completely devoted to making you happy. He's calm, not shifty, and confident - never anxious or guilty. If he makes a blunder, he sounds sincerely sorry, and his promises are just what you want to hear". Dr. Forward believes that 'seduction and deception are the twin hallmarks of the sociopath.' 

 

Sociopaths don't see you as a person but as an object. We are a means to an end for a sociopath.

Sociopaths have the ability to gain your affection very quickly and a relationship with a sociopath becomes intense very quickly. They say all the right things and do all the right things to get what they think they want for the moment. It is not unusual for a sociopath to provide an endless about of support, running errands, organizing and encouraging you when you need it. 

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Tuesday
Sep072010

narcissistic rage

"Attempt to look behind the images and you will suffer the narcissist's rage. He will control, demean, belittle, withhold and withdraw. Turn passive-aggressive. The aggrandizements will actually escalate. If necessary, the narcissist will attempt to ruin you."

Steve Kalas - ReviewJournal.com

 

"What does a narcissist do when a woman becomes her own authority? He cuts her down to size. He has numerous tools at his disposal but the most efficient of all is replacing her with another person. No matter how valuable she felt her 'role' to be, he lets her know that it’s no big deal to find another woman to fill her shoes.

If the narcissist is especially sadistic, he'll choose a woman who will never measure up to her---a woman who will never threaten his superior status as a man. In other words: The narcissist trades down, not up. He punishes his lover for being whole.

That’s a brutal thing to say, I know. But when we talking about infidelity and narcissists, we are not talking about sex with a human being---we’re talking about the subjugation of an object. We’re talking about exploiting women so the narcissist can prove his manliness to other men.

A narcissist will find a way, even if it’s self-destructive, to put an uppity woman in her place. Why? Because a narcissist interprets a partner’s equality as a devious attempt to steal the throne from beneath him.

I think we miss a crucial truth behind a narcissist’s intentional infidelity. Most people make the faulty assumption that infidelity is all about sex. It’s not. When attempts to control the object-of-his-affection fail, he forces compliance by putting her family at risk."

-Sam Vaknin